Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

posts

Member Deleted Post


This post has been deleted by

AlexLebb 41M
1 post
5/23/2019 8:52 am

What type of favour you mean
It's all complicated! Whatever it is, if you know the person, you would their reaction, and you'd know if you hould ask or no.


roper2003 63M
503 posts
5/23/2019 9:19 am

Never hope someone will read your mind and give you what you want or need, that is a very unrealistic expectation.

Sometimes silence IS best but it depends on how badly you need the support and what your relationship is with the person. There are some folks that I would ask in an instant because we are close and I know they would give it to me as I would for them in their time of need. So ask, if they say no are you any worse off?


jenny14 75T  
90121 posts
5/23/2019 9:56 am

NF

Fear is terrible!

If it is a real friend who you have helped in the past, then I would take the risk and ask...

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


eatatthey44 75M

5/23/2019 11:44 am

You have to ask if it's no then you know what a friend they are. I yes and they are honest people. You will know that they are true friends.


StrangerInEgypt 52M
50 posts
5/23/2019 12:25 pm

well, it all depends on being honest!. honest poeple will say yes or no AND will tell their reason.most poeple these days are far from being honest.


Chaos777 69M

5/23/2019 12:44 pm

ask, with the caveat that they can say no, understand that not everyone will help all the time. sounds dorky, (and I am not a religious person, but the saying fits here i feel), "The great spirit answers all prayers, just sometimes the answer is no"
because the answer is no, doesn't mean they are not a (true/real), friend, But i would expect someone who is to explain why...
Good luck with your situation.


spanks_and_wine 57M
228 posts
5/23/2019 12:46 pm

I'm guessing a bit here so apologies if I'm way off the mark.

I'm assuming the reason you say it's unfair to ask them is because they are already burdened with other things- either for you or others. One of the reasons people get burdened is because they are kind, generous and helpful and are willing to take things on. People come to them with problems and they help because it's in their nature to be helpful. If you knew for sure that the person would say no you wouldn't even think to ask so I assume you think there is a pretty good chance they will say yes, but you will feel bad about it because you feel you are taking advantage.

So here is what I would suggest.
If you really do need the help then ask. If it turns out that this just too much for the person then don't begrudge them, just accept it and try not to feel bad for asking.
If they do manage to help you make sure they know you appreciate it and if there is something you can do in return, however small, offer to do it. You may be able to help alleviate a problem they have, not directly, but maybe by helping some else which takes the responsibility off them.

Again, if I've completely missed the point then apologies, but if it helps you work through your options anyway then that's good.

Good luck with it.
Spanks


Raven_GB 63M
854 posts
5/23/2019 2:40 pm

With any important friend or a lover, you must be able to communicate openly, freely and honestly. You should talk to this person and explain the situation fully. If you can't then they are probably not the person you should be asking it of.



Become a member to comment on this blog